The kids are all right: Make the right decisions for your family with end-of-life planning

Everyone needs a will and certain other documents, and nobody should draft these documents themselves.

Before you go to a lawyer, however, it pays to have certain discussions with loved ones and to start asking yourself important questions.

1) Get a lawyer.

I can’t say that enough.

I have seen many bad wills in my day, and all of them were drafted without the assistance of a good lawyer. This is one task that you shouldn’t do yourself. Estate planning requires knowledge and experience in state law, including testamentary and real estate law, as well as federal income tax law.

Choose a lawyer who drafts wills as a large part of his or her practice. Estate planning is a highly technical area of law, so it’s best to choose a lawyer who works almost exclusively in this area.

When you hire a lawyer, you protect yourself against claims of undue influence, fraud, and incapacity. A good lawyer has practices in place to prove that you were of sound mind and weren’t making bequests under duress.

2) Don’t be afraid to have difficult conversations.

Nobody wants to face his or her mortality, but it must be done.

It’s important to express your wishes to your loved ones, particularly when it comes to the guardianship of your children, funeral instructions, and what end-of-life care you want.

Choose a time when your family is together and can focus on these topics. Let everyone know ahead of time that you’ll be discussing your estate plan and end-of-life wishes.

Be kind but firm. You are doing a wonderful thing for your loved ones by having these discussions and making decisions in the right way.

3) Understand which documents you need and what they’re designed to do.

Once you understand which document is which, your knowledge will shape the discussions that you’ll want to have with your doctor, loved ones, religious adviser, etc.

Every estate is different, and yours may or may not require a variety of instruments. These are the documents that everyone needs, however:

Last will and testament

A will has three main purposes: 1) Appoint an administrator (formerly known as an executor) to manage your estate, 2) Determine who will inherit your real and personal property, including your business interests, upon your death, and 3) Appoint a guardian for any minor children that you may have at the time of your death.

Springing power of attorney

This document appoints someone to make legal and financial decisions for you if you are still alive but become mentally incompetent. It “springs” into effect at the moment that you become incapacitated, but has no effect before then. Obviously, your general power of attorney should be an organized, responsible person who you trust to make decisions on your behalf.

Health care power of attorney

Unlike the springing power of attorney, a healthcare power of attorney is limited to health care decisions and does not include the power to make legal or financial decisions on your behalf. This could be the same person as your regular power of attorney or could be a different person. Like the springing power of attorney, it becomes effective once you become incapacitated—and it should of course also be someone you trust and who understands your wishes.

This person should be comfortable with your choices—or at least be able to carry out your wishes without serious moral and ethical dilemmas. For example, if you wish to refuse a feeding tube as you’re dying, don’t choose a relative who has religious objections to this decision.

Living will

A living will comes into play if you are unable to communicate your wishes regarding end-of-life measures. This document informs health care providers (and your health care power of attorney) regarding which measures you’d want to accept or refuse.

Commonly, you’ll hear people refer to an “advance directive.” That’s a living will that also appoints your health care power of attorney. Sometimes, these documents are combined.

This document should be very specific. Consider these questions, and discuss them with your loved ones or religious adviser if you wish: If you cannot eat, do you want a feeding tube? Do you want hydration delivered via an IV? If your heart stops, do you want to be resuscitated by CPR or a defibrillator? If you can’t breathe on your own, do you want to be put on a ventilator?

You will recognize these questions as those that were litigated among the family members of Karen Quinlan and Terri Schiavo. A living will is designed to prevent these disputes.

This is also a good place to specify whether you’re an organ or tissue donor, although you should also choose this on your driver’s license and tell your family and doctor.

4) Decide who will care for your children.

In your will, you’ll name guardians who will care for your minor children. You’ll want to name a guardian and an alternate in case the first person cannot or will not take the job.

Many people fail to discuss this appointment with their family members and with the people they name as guardians. Don’t skip this step.

You need to choose people who are reasonably healthy, financially solvent, and who share your values. This may or may not be your child’s grandparents or aunts and uncles.

5) Don’t do anything shady with estate planning.

In a misguided attempt to avoid taxes or to qualify for government benefits such as nursing home Medicaid, people sometimes try to hide assets. This is a recipe for disaster and is usually ineffective and illegal.

A common ploy: To qualify for Medicaid, an applicant puts real estate into a relative’s name and agrees with that relative that the applicant still owns the property even though it’s no longer in his or her name. Then, when the applicant applies for Medicaid, he appears to be impoverished and qualifies under Medicaid’s financial eligibility rules. This is fraud, and it’s illegal. It’s also risky, because the co-conspirator relative may decide that he or she actually owns the property and may deny the secret agreement. Now, the applicant may have lost his or her property, is barred from applying for Medicaid for five years, and may face fines or criminal charges. Government agencies have seen every trick in the book. The cost of dishonesty is very high.

There are legitimate ways to spend down assets or to avoid taxes. Stick to those.

6) Be thoughtful about who should receive your property.

Squabbles over property can tear families apart.

Be very specific about who should receive certain personal items. If you’re elderly and/or you don’t use a particular piece of furniture or wear an item of jewelry anymore, why not give these things to your heirs now so you can see them enjoy these pieces?

If you’re aging, consider downsizing. After a very trying death in the family and a funeral, it’s very hard on the survivors to be forced to immediately turn around and go through hundreds of unwanted items to distribute, give to charity, and discard. It’s a generous gift to relieve them of this onerous task.

Direct that any vacation or investment real estate be sold and the proceeds divided among your heirs. Do NOT leave a vacation property to more than one heir and expect them to share it. Instead, allow the property to be sold. If one or more of your heirs wants to buy the property, let them make that decision. Don’t force people to own things jointly.

7) Remember that wills don’t cover everything.

First, do not express your funeral and burial wishes in your will. It’s not binding, and many families don’t read the will until after the funeral. Instead, discuss your wishes with your family, write your instructions down, and give family members copies.

Second, keep the beneficiaries current on life insurance and certain retirement accounts—and give copies of the cover pages of these policies and accounts (WITH the policy or account number and company name visible) to your beneficiaries and to your lawyer and administrator.

Third, understand that wills don’t include “non-probate property.” For example, if you own a home with another person as joint tenants with rights of survivorship (JTWROS), then your interest in the home automatically passes to the other joint tenant(s) at the moment of your death. If this is not what you want, work with the other joint tenant(s) to change this to a different type of ownership.

The fallout from a death in the family can affect the survivors for years. It doesn’t have to be this way. If we make thoughtful, informed decisions and communicate these decisions with the help of a competent lawyer, we leave our loved ones with a legacy of peace and comfort.

Good news: How to avoid all legal trouble

I often say that there’s no such thing as a legal problem. What I mean is: Legal problems don’t start out as legal problems. They begin as PERSONAL problems, born from mistakes we make due to desperation or poor judgement. Then, as time passes and denial sets in, these personal problems BECOME legal problems.

Once you’re in legal trouble, it’s too late to avoid pain and expense. You’re stuck with damage control.

There’s a better way. Start early, be proactive, and prevent the problems in the first place.

How? Learn to identify common trouble areas—including your own psychological blind spots—and nip the resulting problems in the bud.

As lawyers, just when we think we’ve seen it all, here comes a client with a brand-new, thorny legal question. But even these complicated and downright bizarre legal cases spring from the same handful of sources.

It’s helpful, then, to identify these trouble spots and to consider your role in making them—and in making them worse.

To identify the most common sources of legal problems, I asked my friends and colleagues for suggestions, and I also thought carefully about my own practice and personal observations.

Fall in love with reality.

I’m putting this one first, because if you commit to this one concept, you’ll avoid almost every difficulty in life.

Stop acting impulsively. Learn to see situations as they are and learn to accept people for who they are.

A few suggestions:

1. Accept your flaws and learn to work around them.

We’ve all got an Achilles heel. Perhaps you’ve got a history of poor money management, or you choose unsuitable romantic partners.

Be honest with yourself, forgive yourself—and develop strategies to avert disaster.

For example, if you have trouble saying no to people who ask you to loan them money, put the bulk of your money in a place where you must wait a few days and fill out paperwork to access it. This will buy you some time to work up the courage to say no.

2. Surround yourself with wise counsel—and trust it.

It can be hard to analyze a situation when you’re too close to it and your emotions prevent you from seeing the truth. That’s why you need smart, caring people to help you process things.

These people have got your best interests at heart and love you enough to tell you the truth in a manner that you can hear it. Warning: Many of your friends and family members don’t fit the bill. For example, parents may give advice based on an overabundance of caution or the desire to keep you close to them. Frenemies can be motivated by jealousy. Advice isn’t accurate unless its motivations are pure.

Professionals such as therapists, lawyers, and accountants are invaluable. Mentors—whether personal or professional—can help, too.

3. If it doesn’t make you happy, stop doing it.

For the most part, you’re not required to work at a certain job, be in a relationship with certain people, or participate in certain activities—including fundraisers.

If you feel anxious, depressed, or physically ill when you think about certain people or activities, that’s all you need to know.

Stay away from people who are not good for you. If you have displayed poor relationship judgment in the past, work hard to identify and transform your relationship behaviors with a good therapist.

When you choose the person, you choose his or her financial habits, family, and psychology.

If you’re attracted to troubled people, get help to break the pattern of codependency.

Stop overthinking things and learn to say no.

4. Accept and manage your addictions.

Addiction is often defined as “inability to stop using despite serious consequences.”

That covers it.

Drinking and drugs make everything more dangerous. Criminal lawyers stay busy by defending DUIs and assault charges, with the occasional embezzlement offense committed by those with gambling or shopping addictions. Family law attorneys witness the breakup of families due to drugs, alcohol, extramarital sex, pornography, and other addictions.

If you can’t stop, get help. If you’ve got good health insurance through your job, you may be able to afford rehab. If you’re a member of a professional organization, these often offer counseling. At the very least, go to a 12-step meeting and get a sponsor.

Lawyers often remark that we meet people with uncontrolled addictions in one of three places: the hospital, jail, or the morgue. Ask for help, and accept help.

Determine your relationships.

Your money, your home, and everything you’ve accomplished should be sacred to you. We’re grown-ups now, so we take responsibility for our own happiness and well-being, and we don’t try to take responsibility for the happiness and well-being of others.

1. Avoid undefined relationships.

Society recognizes a few types of relationships: friends, colleagues, spouses, family members. There are many good reasons for these distinctions.

Don’t let someone move into your home and gain access to your income and bank accounts unless they’re committed to you legally.

Likewise, don’t give up your independence to move in with someone else outside the bounds of a legally recognized relationship, such as marriage. Your name should be on your own car, on the lease or mortgage where you live, and on any bank accounts that support you.

If you are not able to commit to a person (or he or she to you) and declare the nature of your relationship to the world, it’s a bad sign.

For example, friends don’t have sex with each other or support each other financially in the hopes that the relationship will turn into another type of relationship.

2. In business, keep good company.

If you plan to go into business with someone, perform a background check even if it’s a close friend or family member. It’s often a bad idea to go into business with friends or family, but not always. Just be very careful.

Form an official type of business organization (such as an LLC) with the secretary of state in your state. Get a business license and a tax ID number (TIN). Write a business plan and put everything in writing (particularly if you’re going into business with others). If you don’t want to do all of this, or if your business partners balk at these formalities, do not start the business.

Avoid get-rich-quick schemes and other scams. Never get into a Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) scheme such as Amway. You will lose money, and often your behavior will be illegal even if the company is technically legitimate. (Read my blog post on why MLMs should always be avoided.)

3. Embrace background checks and reality checks.

We often know that someone or something is a bad idea, but sometimes we ignore red flags and commit anyway. Learn to rely on your wise counsel for reality checks, and do your own due diligence. Professional background checks may be necessary if you’re considering a high-stakes business or personal relationship, but often you can do your own research. (Read my blog post on how to perform your own background checks.)

Most importantly, listen to your own thoughts. If you find yourself trying to talk yourself into something while keeping the details from your close friends and family members, you’ve got your answer.

Honor love, sex, marriage, and children.

Family law is rough. It’s painful to watch people make the same mistakes their parents and grandparents made, and it’s downright agonizing to watch their children suffer because of it.

Most of this pain is avoidable.

1. Be careful about marriage.

I’ve just advised you to avoid undefined relationships, but you should also avoid this precisely defined one, too, unless you’re sure it’s right.

This is the most important decision you’ll ever make, so it’s surprising that many of us don’t put much thought and research into it.

Whenever I meet with a married person who is at war with his or her spouse, I often ask: “Why did you decide to get married?” The answer always surprises me. It’s always a variation of “it just seemed like the thing to do at the time” followed by “I had doubts” or even “I knew it was a mistake.”

They never say: “I really loved, respected, and admired him/her, and we shared the same values and goals. After much careful consideration and with the support and encouragement of our families, friends, church, community, etc., we decided to commit to each other for life and build a family together.”

That’s what the answer SHOULD be, though, every time.

Again, when you choose the person, you choose everything about him or her. Your spouse’s addictions, habits, financial problems, sexual history and preferences, children, and reputation become yours. When you MARRY the person, you enter into a binding contract to make those things your own until you die.

It pays, then, to attend premarital counseling or classes. If you belong to a church, your pastor can guide you quite a bit, but go to multiple counseling sessions. Choose a mentor couple or two. Spend time with these long-married folks and let them help you ask the right questions. Be brutally honest with your prospective spouse about your expectations for the marriage and for your life, and listen carefully to his or hers.

Many people should not get married at all—at least not until certain practical and psychological issues have been resolved. For example, an addict should have years of successful recovery under his or her belt before entering a serious relationship. Financial problems must be cleaned up—or well on their way to being cleaned up with a solid plan in place. Nobody should have a recent criminal record. Both partners should have a job and the ability to keep a job. Children from previous relationships should be cared for, and that includes child support, visitation, and a healthy relationship between both parents. Cheaters should remain single until and unless they have changed. Abusers (verbal, physical, financial, emotional, sexual) are out of the question.

2. Use birth control.

Don’t have children with anyone other than a stable person to whom you are married OR without a reasonable alternative in place (one example: You’re a single parent who has been approved to adopt a child after careful consideration by all parties involved). If you’re married, wait a few years before you have children.

Child custody cases are the saddest, and many of these disputes can be prevented by avoiding unplanned pregnancies.

Don’t rely on single-use birth control methods such as condoms. (Use condoms to prevent STIs, but not for your primary method of birth control.) Instead, women should choose the pill, an IUD, or an implant. Men should not rely on women to use birth control and should instead consider a reversible vasectomy. (This sounds harsh, but you’d be surprised how often lawyers hear, “She said she was on the pill.”)

Men are often shocked to hear that they can be held financially and legally responsible for 18 years for a child that they created through a one-night stand with a woman they don’t know and frankly can’t remember. Women are often shocked by how hard it is to get these men to step up.

It’s very damaging for children to have an absent parent. Do everything you can to avoid becoming one of these parents.

Invest in a good will.

Everyone needs a will. Even if you don’t own a lot of property, you should name an administrator to manage your affairs when you die. If you’ve got minor children, you need to name a guardian. If you own a business, you’ll want to direct how your business is to be sold or transferred.

While you’re at it, draft an advance directive, a document that instructs health care providers on how to care for you should you become incapacitated and unable to communicate your wishes. (A living will is a type of advance directive.) In this document, you’ll appoint a trusted close friend or family member to be your health care proxy, and you’ll give this person durable power of attorney to make health care decisions for you if you are incapacitated. You’ll also describe which end-of-life measures you want and don’t want (hydration, a feeding tube, resuscitation) and under what circumstances. This is a good place to declare yourself an organ and tissue donor, even if you’ve already done that on your driver’s license.

As a separate matter, keep the beneficiary on your life insurance policy up to date. You want your life insurance to pay your current dependents—not your ex-spouse from 30 years ago.

Do not include your funeral plans in your will. That’s not really binding anyway, and your family may not read your will until your funeral is over. Talk about these end-of-life and funeral decisions with your loved ones now.

As you’re drafting your own end-of-life documents, insist that your spouse and your parents draft theirs, too. This will save you a tremendous amount of hassle and ill will while you are grieving.

Can you do it yourself? No. Spend the money and get these documents drafted by a lawyer who drafts wills as a large part of his or her practice. I’m a lawyer, so of course I think you should avoid the do-it-yourself route. Still, my colleagues and I often pass around poorly written wills as a teaching tool, and these horrible wills are rarely drafted by a lawyer. Do not skimp on the important things in life.

You and your spouse will use the same lawyer and have your documents drafted together, probably. You should encourage your parents to use a lawyer, too, but you should avoid getting closely involved with this process. You should have conversations with your parents about their wishes, but you don’t want to be accused of trying to influence their decisions. A good lawyer will help you avoid this.

Take care of business.

I have spent thousands of hours (and charged thousands of dollars) to help clients unravel various small matters that grew into leviathans due to neglect and avoidance—or the mistaken belief that they could somehow beat the system.

1. Honor your obligations and contracts.

This is ten thousand tips folded into one.

File your income taxes. PAY your income taxes. Many people believe that taxes are unconstitutional and can be avoided. These people are known as “lienees” at best and federal prison inmates at worst. I promise you: The IRS has got this one sewn up.

Maintain a valid driver’s license, tag and registration, and at least the minimum auto insurance that your state requires. One-third of passenger vehicles on the road today are uninsured, so it pays to get uninsured motorist insurance, too.

Check your mail at least twice a week, and keep your address updated with everyone with whom you do business.

2. Never ignore official documents.

If you are served with court papers (including by mail), do not ignore these papers. If it’s a summons or similar document, follow the directions on the document and appear in court. If it’s a restraining order, use restraint.

If you ignore court papers, you may be arrested for failure to appear (a “bench warrant”), and if you’re being sued, the court will enter a default judgment against you.

Many people avoid stressful situations because they suffer from severe avoidance issues. If that’s you, ask a trusted friend or family member to help you hire a lawyer.

3. Live within your means.

All debt is bad debt.

You heard me. You should strive to be debt-free.

Now, some debts are much worse than others, and one or two types of debt are not ideal but may be unavoidable.

Mortgage debt is acceptable if you’re making a smart purchase on a house in a favorable housing market AND you plan to live in the house for five years or more.

Student loan debt is rarely a good idea, but it can be. In my case, I borrowed money for law school, but my salary at my first lawyer job was exactly twice what I was making when I quit my job to start law school. I borrowed a small amount and paid it off by working extra jobs. This is the somewhat rare example of sensible student loan debt—it pays for itself rather quickly, and you can pay it off in a handful of years. Otherwise, avoid student loans.

Car loans aren’t the best use of debt, but if that’s the only way to get to your job, you may have to borrow a modest amount. Buy a good, basic used car, borrow a few thousand dollars at a low interest rate, and pay it off quickly.

If you take out these types of loans, pay your payments on time and work hard to pay the debts off early. Be sure you’re buying only as much house, school, and car as you need and no more. Do not borrow money for flashy cars and McMansions.

All other debt is bad and should be avoided. Credit card debt is the devil and is very hard to pay off. (Plus, you’ve used it to buy things you couldn’t afford.) Even worse are payday loans, title loans, tote-the-note used car lots, and rent-to-own stores. Never do business with these places. Take public transportation, sit on the floor, and read library books.

4. Obey the law.

When a law is unjust and you’ve tried unsuccessfully to change it using legal methods, you may decide to commit acts of civil disobedience. I’ve done this more than once in my life, and I don’t condemn lawbreaking in every one of these cases. Still, if you decide to do this, think about it carefully, consider how it may affect your loved ones, and understand and accept the consequences.

In all other situations, you should obey the law. Lawbreaking is stressful and costly in every way. Every lawyer has observed countless clients suffering under the principle “he who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.” People rarely get away with lawlessness, and even if they do, it’s a miserable existence. An honorable life is the only life worth living.

A close friend of mine often proclaims: “I get my kicks on the straight and narrow!” I love that. I try to live that.

It's time to draft your will

Everyone needs a will

A will is a legal document that sets forth your wishes regarding the distribution of your property and the care of your minor children in the event of your death.

If you’ve got minor children, a will dictates who will become their guardian. If you own a business, a will allows for the smooth transition of the control or sale of your business. If you’ve got any assets at all, a will handles their distribution. Without a will, a court will make these decisions for you.

But even if you don’t have property, children, or a business, a will appoints a person (formerly called an “executor” but now more often called an “administrator”) to manage your estate. This person makes sure your wishes are carried out, which prevents confusion and chaos that can cause your survivors additional pain.

Can I do it myself?

I am a lawyer, so of course I’m going to say that in most cases, you should get a lawyer to draft this important document and to help you make key decisions. You can buy do-it-yourself kits, and some of these are better than no will at all, but each person’s situation is different. An experienced professional can advise you on your particular needs, while a will kit or online service is more generic.

Wills for your spouse and parents

It’s not enough for you to have a will. If you are an heir or a beneficiary to someone else (your spouse and parents), make sure that those people have got valid wills, too. When you’re dealing with grief and making funeral arrangements, the presence of an iron-clad will prevents additional strife from family disputes over money. Key point: To avoid claims that you influenced your parents’ decisions, do not advise them on their wills and encourage them to visit their own lawyer to have their wills drafted. If you’re married, your lawyer will draft wills for both you and your spouse, but be sure to update your will if you get divorced.

Don’t forget other end-of-life documents

While you’re drafting your will, be sure to include an advance directive, a document that instructs health care providers on how to care for you should you become incapacitated and unable to communicate your wishes. (A living will is a type of advance directive.) In this document, you’ll appoint a trusted close friend or family member to be your health care proxy, and you’ll give this person durable power of attorney to make health care decisions for you if you are incapacitated. You’ll also describe which end-of-life measures you want and don’t want (hydration, a feeding tube, resuscitation) and under what circumstances. This is a good place to declare yourself an organ and tissue donor, even if you’ve already done that on your driver’s license.

Life insurance

Make sure your life insurance is up-to-date (you’re insured for the right amount, and your beneficiary is who you currently choose). Give your heirs and beneficiaries a copy of the cover page with the name of the company and the policy number visible so they can collect on the policy in the event of your death.

Funeral instructions

Do not include this in your will or other end-of-life documents. Most family members don’t look at the deceased’s will until days or weeks later, and then it’s too late. If you have a preference about your funeral or the disposition of your body, tell your loved ones in writing now. If you’re an organ donor, tell them that, too—even if it’s in your advance directive and on your driver’s license.

Approximately two-thirds of Americans do not have wills, but wills and other documents are a key part of financial well-being. If you’ve ever been involved in a dispute due to a lack of a valid will, you already know why. Take responsibility for your end-of-life planning while you’re still able to do it comfortably.

I want my money back: How to complain effectively

We work hard for our money, so it’s especially upsetting when we carefully budget for our purchases only to find that we’re not getting what we paid for.

Often, we complain at the lowest level but then give up when the problem isn’t resolved.

There are many ways to complain and to get your money back, however, so don’t give up until you’ve tried them all.

Start at the source

First, return to the store or website and talk to a store employee (or live chat a customer service representative on the website). This will resolve most problems. Describe the problem calmly and accurately, and present all documentation. If the employee cannot help you, ask for a supervisor. Document to whom you spoke, the date, and the outcome.

Escalate

Once it becomes clear that your problem won’t be solved at the source, stop wasting your time there. Call the company’s customer service number or access it through the company’s website. Again, if the first person cannot help, ask for a supervisor. Document all conversations here, too. If phone conversations don’t help, write a letter and include copies of your documentation.

Try social media

When direct contact fails, post your complaint on the company’s social media outlets. Often, a company’s social media manger is authorized to help when other employees aren’t, because the company wants to avoid negative comments on its social media accounts.

Get outside help

First, file a complaint with the Attorney General’s office and with Commerce and Insurance. In Tennessee, the websites are: https://www.tn.gov/attorneygeneral/working-for-tennessee/file-a-consumer-complaint.html and https://www.tn.gov/commerce/consumer/file-a-complaint.html . While you’re at it, complain at the federal level as well: https://www.ftccomplaintassistant.gov/#crnt&panel1-1

Second, consider going to local media. Most local TV stations of any size have a consumer “action line,” and these can be very effective when everything else has failed.

Be careful with online purchases

When buying online, stick to established companies such as Amazon, which has a process for settling disputes. Many online sellers are based in foreign countries, and it can be hard to get your money back or to get them to answer you at all.

Put important purchases on a credit card

While it’s important to be careful with credit card spending, put expensive items on your credit card if that option is available to you. If you’re not satisfied with the purchase, you can quickly and easily dispute the charge online with your credit card company. Then, the credit card company will go to bat for you to resolve the dispute, withholding the funds from the seller until the seller proves that they treated you fairly.

You have the right to be treated fairly and to get what you paid for. Be persistent, and you’ll be successful most of the time.

Get serious about paying off credit card debt

Our taxes are done, and winter is over, so it’s time to check in with a New Year’s Resolution that many of us have made: Get out of debt.

Credit card debt is one of the most difficult types of debt to eliminate, and it’s also the most common: The average American household now carries nearly $7,000 in credit card debt, and nearly one-third of those Americans pay just the minimum payment each month.

This is a debt emergency, and it’s time to bring in the big guns. Here are some strategies to pay off credit card debt sooner:

Pay more than the minimum payment

Many personal finance sites suggest paying the minimum monthly payment plus $10 per month. I disagree. You should instead pay as much as you can, even if it means selling some personal belongings, getting a second job, or renting out a spare bedroom. Do whatever it takes.

Bankrate.com has a series of helpful calculators that will help you pay down your debt, including this one that gives a sobering look at the true cost of paying the minimum payment: https://www.bankrate.com/calculators/managing-debt/minimum-payment-calculator.aspx

Take out a different type of loan

If possible, take out a lower-interest loan and use the funds to pay off credit card debt.

Warning: This is a dangerous strategy and should be used only when you are certain that you will not charge anything else on the credit card.

Remember that credit card debt is bad debt, but at least it’s unsecured debt. In other words, you didn’t put up collateral when you took on this debt; therefore, the lender can’t foreclose on anything you own if you don’t pay the debt.

That’s not true with certain other loans. For example, if you take out a home equity loan and use the money to pay off credit card debt, you could lose your home if you don’t pay.

Negotiate a lower interest rate

Your credit card company values you as a customer and knows that you are getting low-interest offers in the mail from competing credit card companies. This gives you negotiating power, and your credit card company will often give you a lower interest rate in order to keep your business.

Call the customer service number on the back of your credit card and simply ask. Most credit card companies field these requests all day every day, so they are ready to offer you a lower interest rate.

If they say no, politely ask to speak to a supervisor, who has more power to grant your request.

A sample script: “I’ve been your customer since ____, and I’m interested in getting a lower interest rate. I’ve recently been offered a new credit card with ________ for an interest rate of ____%. Would you be willing to match that offer?”

Switch to a credit card with a lower interest rate

If your existing credit card company won’t lower your interest rate, considering transferring your balance to a new card, but be careful.

This is a risky move for two reasons: 1) Too many credit inquiries and too many open credit accounts can negatively affect your credit score, and 2) Consumers often switch to a card with a lower interest rate, only to find that the interest rate increases to 20 percent or more after six months or a year.

Read the fine print, and be sure you understand the new offer.

Negotiate a settlement

If you’re really in trouble, you can negotiate lower payments and even a lower balance with your credit card company. This will affect your credit score and may even have tax consequences, so this tip should be considered as a last resort.

For information on the various types of settlement options, this article gives a helpful overview: https://www.creditkarma.com/advice/i/negotiate-debt-credit-card-company/

No matter your level of credit card debt, make a commitment to pay it off and set yourself free.